Genres: Adult, Contemporary Romance
Published on: December 2, 2014
Rating: 5 STARS!
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OMG.. One of the best books I’ve read so far. Period!
I’ve never felt this level of being consumed and connected in a long time, reading wise. In a very rare occasion, I had found myself rereading a book right after I was finished reading it and even got excited all over again even though I’d already known how it would go. My heart was over the place and I was in the state of emotional roller coaster I’ve been longing for. This is why I love reading. It is to be able to experience a story on a deeper level like I did with this book: devouring and doing it again while experiencing the same emotions and even more.
My words will never do justice to how incredibly mindblowing and amazing this book is. All I will do is to tell you my experience as I read it. I was a mess right from the start. To be honest this might not be your usual love story. This is the story that will mess with your mind while you’re reading it and LONG after you finish. It pushed any boundaries I’d ever had and opened lots of important layers of thought processes I would never have experienced had I never given this book a chance.
What really consumed me with this story in the first place? It is the fact that it is a crazy, extremely unconventional, thought-provoking love story. Yes, it is a love story, nonetheless. As crazy as it is, I’m actually smiling right now while typing this (call me crazy for what I’m going to say), this is a beautiful love story. Not the ones I used to, or we’re used to, but it is. It opens my mind that love has many faces and the face this book portrays is the raw, messy, painful, selfish, and powerful one. I used to believe that love is the opposite of selfishness. However, the most powerful ones sometimes include this element at the beginning and—although this might not be a popular opinion—it is often the reason all the happy endings happen. Oh, I love happy endings. 😉
This story begins with something that would outrage and infuriate you like it did to me. Not only you would experience a “wow, I didn’t see it coming” kind of thrill, but “wow, this is crazy. I think I can’t handle this,” and “oh no. He didn’t just do it!” It kept me on the edge of my seat while thinking “what am I reading?” and “oh no, this is too much!” It was too much, even for my insatiable inner dark romance junkie self. But I’m relieved I experienced it. The more I read, the more I got to know why he did it and what had made him the way he was. What an emotional roller coaster I’d been in!
The main characters, Mia and Tax, were broken in different ways. She was by having a boring, monotonous life since she was a kid up until now, and he was by a painful, life-changing experience he and her sister had had to endure when they were teenagers. They both were determined to change their lives. However, an event planned by him brought them together. It was the most terrifying yet amazing experience on her part, but a devastating, unplanned outcome for him.
“I think about what I should say. Should I thank him for his services? What the hell just happened? What is happening? Who the fuck am I and what did I just do? I just let a complete stranger fuck me raw! Oh my god. Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck.” (Mia)
“I don’t know how I feel about anything right now. What I did was stupid, thoughtless, and fucking crazy. And yet, it was the most insane, erotic, exhilarating and sensual experience of my life.” (Mia)
And when she thought her encounter with him would be the only one, he surprised her.
“Mia goes pale. She might pass out. I study her as her thoughts race, she is pathetically transparent. I can tell she’s trying to figure out if I know that she knows. Bitch, I’m not hiding.” (Tax)
He is the scariest man she has ever known (and I’ve ever read). The man who was driven by revenge, hatred, and all the awful things a man with the most painful past ever possessed. And what made him a living nightmare to her was the fact that he was extremely smart, rich, and had more than a decade of experiences to make her life as awful as possible. Since she knew she was in danger by being the target of his hatreds for unknown reasons, she tried her best to free herself from his power.
“So, onto Plan B: I will suck her dry, I will fuck the life out of her, I will ravage her until she is hollow and used, and then when she thinks things can’t get any lower, I will destroy the company she loves and kill her.” (Ooops. WOW!!)
I was constantly questioning why she didn’t try another way to free herself. There must have been another way. But I couldn’t think of any (my applause for the author). He made her completely powerless and out of choices but to surrender herself under his unbelievable mercy, if it could be called a mercy at all. Miss Jones really had me from the start. Am I crazy to thank the author for putting me on that kind of agony, painful reading experience? You can judge me all you want but I loved it. 😉
“My life force is vengeance.” (Tax)
“Over time, if I can get him to grow fond of me, I can find a way out of this. But I learned early on the process will be slow, and if I try too hard, he recoils even more. It has to happen on its own time. It’s possible that the only way back to autonomy is by allowing myself to develop feelings for him.” (Mia)
As they started to know each other better even in a shadow of hatred and vengeance, they unintentionally developed a deeper attraction than the ones they felt before for each other (or they thought they felt) when his love for her (and her love for him) started to replace hatred and vengeance with acceptance and forgiveness in his heart. I loved that the author managed to make me see the message of this unconventional story with her wonderful, detailed, emotional, thoughtful writing. And even though there were minor errors grammatically, it didn’t take over my whole experience reading this book. As crazy as the scenes sometimes might be I was overwhelmed by how emotionally deeper this story was and how deeply moved I was while reading it.
“And I notice a pattern: while it’s Tax who tells me I mean nothing to him, it is he who keeps initiating contact outside of the conference room.” (Mia)
“This stranger has become the center of my world. A puzzle I have to solve. My greatest pleasure and my deepest pain.” (Mia)
What drew me the most was the way he redeemed himself. I always love to see the change and growth the villain (the antagonist) has to get through. The type of love that Tax had ever experienced in the past was a beautifully ugly one. While I think he is far from perfect by any standards that any healthy living human beings ever have, he is one of the best heroes ever created in my book experience so far. He tried his best to redeem himself with what he thought the best for her from the unforgivable and unforgettable things he had put her through. And he did it at the end.
“Mia’s affection doesn’t change that I am a psychopath, but it gives my urges a purpose, a way to be productive, not just destructive. For the first time, I have met someone who makes me want to be uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to care about anyone enough to put myself in the unsettling position of growth.” (Tax)
“The girl who set me on the path of destruction can be my redemption.” (Tax)
How rarely I feel these kinds of emotions while reading: unaware that I was crying my eyes out, sobbing silently, smiling or giggling. I was usually never this out of control of my emotions as excited and in love as I was with any kind of stories. And the fact that I was head over heels in love with these broken characters and their beautifully ugly relationship speaks volumes about how amazing Nina G. Jones is as a storyteller. I’ve loved two of her books I’ve read so far and I HIGHLY recommend this book to every dark romance fans or readers who long for the kinds of stories that will push any boundaries they’ve ever had. Welcome to a messed-up, ugly, emotional roller coaster! 😀